Read this post recently. There’s two things that strike me about it. Firstly, how David is obviously guilt ridden over his actions even a year on. This much is apparent from a cursory reading of the passage in question. When David is confronted with his sin he confesses and repents. One imagines it would have stuck with him after time. One can be forgiven and still labour under guilt.
Secondly, how David screwed up even at the height of his earthly success. In one sense he had really made it and it was in his self-perceived strength that he fell. When we disregard the grace of God that is when we are most vulnerable. When we refuse to acknowledge how he has sustained us and provided for us that is when we delude ourselves.
How is this relevant to me? In the first instance, I don’t really feel guilt about sin any more. I’m referring of course to the sins that used make me feel guilty; the sins I was aware of committing and specifically sexual sins. This excludes all those other sins that we fool ourselves into thinking we don’t commit. There is no desire to engage with them any more or repent of any actions. It’s simply a limbo land. The devil may be pulling a variation on his greatest trick by making me apathetic about stuff that I should really be striving to eliminate. That’s not a good place to be. And secondly, I wonder how much stock I’m putting in my career above my calling. That is not to say that they are mutually exclusive but more to say that while the latter can be above the former the former should never take precedence over the latter. Money, time and effort are all waning towards my church.
We come once again to how a person defines success. Is everything merely a vanity? Or can I be successful in my job, i.e. in the world’s eyes, and truly humble in God’s?