I judge people. Christians aren’t meant to judge people according to the popular understanding. Of course what this means is you’re not meant to come to a negative judgment. If you come to a positive judgment it’s all good. Some Christians don’t even believe you’re meant to judge other people despite the fact that we may well end up judging angels and the rest of the world to boot. What is at issue isn’t whether or not we judge but the manner in which we do so.
I’m obviously interchanging different definitions of the word judgment here. And were this a blog whose purpose was to fill the world with my ill-informed, half-baked, lacking a clear purpose of thought on theological musings I would flesh it out more. But the purpose of this blog is behind the couch somewhere and when I find it I’ll let you know. For the purposes of this post it is sufficient to acknowledge that people make judgments – for various reasons and I merely hope that my reasons aren’t as bad as the rest of you beard-wearing, stone throwers gathered around.
Psychological testing has taught me that I am very much an all in type of person. When committed I can often stay much longer than is necessary and often to the detriment of my mental health and sanity. As often as I can I make sure I mean what I say. This is an odd temperament for an individual in my profession but it’s the way I am. So despite my best efforts when a person says something like: “I’ll call you”, “I’ll email you” or “I’ll pray for you” I know that most of the time they won’t. I know this and it still wounds me not to receive said email or phone call – much more than it should.
I’m all about reaching out. I like to connect to people and I know that I come across in a rather intense fashion. I recently undertook a little experiment. I stopped saying hi to people on Gmail or making an effort to chat to them on their terms online. People know where I am and how to find me. Net result is that people don’t chat to me a lot. There’s intellectual knowledge of an issue and then there’s the reality which brings home intellectual truths in a way you’re not always comfortable with.
I knew I was lonely. I didn’t need a psychologist to tell me something I’d known for the past four or five years. The whole non-initiation of internet chat has just brought that home. What bugged me was how there was always this part of me that had this illusion of hope: “Well, they said they’d email so it’s alright to expect it any day now.” The days pass and that little ray of hope which can brighten your entire day often merely heralds the coming despondent storm. Jesus put it simply Let your yes be yes and your no be no. That’s how I try to do it.