1 – Regardless of what happens to me I alone have responsibility for my spiritual choices and the consequences there of.
2 – Intellectually I need to spend several months resolving questions before I go either way
3 – The only way more pain could be caused to friends and family by a decision to leave my church (or the faith) would be if I died. In some ways it would be less. If I died at least I would have went to heaven and they would see me again. Saying I don’t believe in God any more means they I miss out on eternity with them.
4 – My frustrations could just be connected to issues with my own little church. Joining another church might resolve those
5 – There’s no guarantee that by leaving anything will get better