I’ve always said that who a woman is matters more than what she looks like. I still believe this to be true but I think I need to elaborate the nuances of my position that bit better as I had a recent revelation of sorts.
Physical chemistry is undoubtedly part of romantic relationships. If you can’t look at your other half and feel a little stirring inside of you there’s something wrong. If you wake up in the morning and the sight of their form next to you fills you with desire that’s a healthy place to be. The way the light catches them and you think, “Damn I’ve got a keeper there.” That’s a big part of romantic relationships.
And people are different with different tastes. I’ll never fulfil the tall, dark and mysterious stereotype. I’ve got to go for the twinkly eyed, bit of a rascal, curly haired imp. Well that’s one of the angles I can use to market myself. People are complex individuals and rarely meet only one stereotype we like to impose upon them. I can do the athletic, in shape, competitive alpha male or the soft, sweet, sensitive bookish type with an intellectual air. I can do the well dressed, executive type as well although I need more practice at it. When I have my own house fully I’ll have a shed out the back in which I’ll do woodwork. Another niche I can fill and perform.
Women can be vindictive creatures – particularly towards those of their kind that received large amounts of male attention. That bimbo, or that slut – the venom can be epitaph inducing at times. A man is criticised for being attracted to a good looking woman due to an assumed superficial basis. The woman who makes that judgement is as superficial, if not more so, for their disdain towards both the woman who receives the attention and the man who offers it.
This was sort of brought home to me when I realised I suddenly had a small physical attraction to a woman I had known previous and not felt anything towards. A woman losing weight is nothing new as such but it struck me that how a person maintains their body is a sign of the type of the person he or she claims to be. A woman in good shape is likely to have strength, determination and focus. She is likely to be disciplined. These are traits that I think are good in a person. They’re positive. The first impression you form of a person, the impression that actually rarely changes over time, is so often based on nothing more than your own prejudices and biases and the appearance of a person makes a large portion of that.
It’s not the case that it’s the sum total of your opinion of a woman. But I think I’m going to grant myself a lot more leeway in letting an attraction develop to a woman in good shape based on the fact she’s in good shape